Jan O'Brien - Real Estate Coach

2009 Year in Review - A Year of Change & Adjustment

For me, 2009 was all about change and adjusting to that change.  Personally, I made a major career change in July when I resigned as General Manager at Prudential Americana Group, REALTORS to pursue my passion for coaching and training on my own.  Many people thought I was out of my mind to leave the security of a great position in a successful company in the middle of the worst economic downturn and recession since the Great Depression.

It was the best decision for me and at a perfect time.  I am happy to be doing what I talked about for years...finally!  I am living my passion.  I look forward to an amazing 2010 - on all levels.

While I was googling 2009 year in review listings, several themes emerged for me:

• The economy, recession, housing crisis, bailouts, recovery, stimulus plans...and the polarity.  Crisis brings out the best and, unfortunately, the worst in people.  
• Power of Social Media in our lives:
  
  1. Twitter and the Iran Protests - Election
  2. Overall explosion of Twitter (News, TV personalities, Businesses...)
  3. Facebook has over 350 million active users
• We, as a collective culture, feed on the drama and the tragedy ...and the media loves to serve it up 24/7...
  
  1. Reality TV shows
  2. Octomom
  3. Jon & Kate plus 8
  4. Sarah Palin
  5. Bubble Boy
  6. Tiger Woods
  7. Ft Hood Massacre
  8. Michael Jackson
  9. .... just to highlight a few events and trends

How about a couple of positive highlights... from my perspective:

• Susan Boyle story was one for me.  Amazing, brilliant, uplifting, emotional, inspirational, a true wake-up call and lesson for us all to take that chance and to not let anything or anyone hold you back.  Over 100 million views on YouTube. Here's a link to the video on YouTube - embedding has been disabled.   Susan Boyle - Singer - Britains Got Talent 2009
  
  Her debut album is amazing... Get it! 
  I Dreamed A Dream
  
  From Billboard (12-23-09): "I Dreamed a Dream" has now sold a total of 2,465,000 copies and is the second-best selling album of 2009. Only Taylor Swift's "Fearless" -- with 2,933,000 sold -- is standing in its way. And with two weeks left in the 2009 tracking year, anything is possible.
  
  Check out this documentary - "Susan's story so far". 
  
  
  
  
  

• President Barrack Obama.  Wonder what our world would be like if we all focused on progress and took action steps TOWARD what we wanted rather than continue to spew or buy-in to the negativity, hate and criticism?  Change is only going to happen when we all decide to do something about it...not the politicians... the people.  I voted for and continue to support and believe in Obama's leadership.  I also know it is going to take time, patience and right action to get there.
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Miracle on the Hudson.   Captain Chesley Sullenberger, known as "Sully," was the epitome of "Calm Under Extreme Pressure".   For the first time in 50 years of commercial jet flight, the pilots of US Airways Flight 1549 successfully executed one of the most technically challenging maneuvers, landing a jetliner on water without fatalities.
  
  Listen to his voice on this air traffic control tape and watch the animated recreation of the incident:
  
  

A look back at events of 2009 ... the highs, the lows, the in-betweens.

Time - The Top 10 Everything of 2009

Yahoo - 2009 Year in Review

And, finally, if you haven't seen this Annual Video yet from JibJab (the same people who bring you the Dancing Elves videos)....Enjoy:

How to Discover and Celebrate Your Success, Your Wins for the Past Year...Then Set Outcomes not Resolutions

FEATURED POST:  I updated this post on Celebrating your Success, originally posted 12-30-08, and wanted to re-publish it as we wind down on another year.  I am in the middle of fine-tuning my business plan and writing my goals for next year.  This exercise on acknowledging "what went well, your victories, your joys, your celebrations" is a powerful way to get you in the right mindset to finish your real estate business plan - including written goals and outcomes.  I encourage you to read the post, download the form and just do the exercise.  Celebrate Your Success!

As the year comes to a close, I want to pass on one of the most impactful exercises my former business coach had me do several years ago.  The purpose of the exercise was to conduct a review of the previous year by writing down every success, win, and positive thing that I experienced - both big and small.  So, I challenge all readers to Celebrate Your Successes! 

In my experience as a coach and manager, I have observed that most driven and success-minded individuals have a tendency to focus on what they haven't achieved yet.  They are always moving on to the next goal or challenge without stopping, however briefly, to acknowledge the victory or success of the moment. 

So, as you fine tune your goals and business plan for a successful next year, take some time to look back on the current/previous year with a focus on the positives.  Grab your journal or some paper or...

Use this Celebrate Your Successes PDF: Download CelebrateYourSuccesses

Just write it all down - stream of consciousness - no matter how seemingly insignificant.  Just write it down.  Once you start writing, you'll be surprised at how much you really have to celebrate!

• List all your accomplishments, wins, victories, successes in the past year.
• List all moment of joy and gratitude.
• What did you do last year that you were really proud of?
• What do other people in your life have to say about what you did, accomplished, contributed?
• What did you do last year that moved you toward your goals?
• What lessons did you gain from any setbacks, challenges or obstacles?
• How are your going to integrate any learnings in to your future goals and the coming year?

Now Set GOALS or OUTCOMES not Resolutions!

I am not a fan of New Year's Resolutions.  Statistics show that most people never keep the resolutions they set for the new year.  The main reasons why they fail?  Lack of Commitment and Clarity.

For some thoughts on Clarity see this post:  Clarity of Purpose - Do You Have It?

Numerous surveys and research show the following as the Top 10 New Year's Resolutions:

1. Lose weight/Get in shape
2. Stick to a budget
3. Reduce Debt/Get out of debt
4. Enjoy more quality time with friends and family
5. Find my soul mate
6. Quit smoking
7. Find a better job/Make more money
8. Learn something new
9. Volunteer & help others
10. Get organized

You may, like me, look at this list and think "I want to accomplish several of these things this year!"  So instead of saying My New Year's Resolution is "x" - back it up with total commitment and clarity to ensure success this year. 

The critical steps to achieving your goals:

1. Identify clear, concise, SMART goals and know your WHY for each of them.
2. Write them down for all areas of your life (Personal, Financial, Business/Career, Relationships/Family, Spiritual)
3. Create Action Plans - break the goal down into steps and next actions.  Take action every day!
4. Measure and track your progress - you can't improve what you don't measure.
5. Celebrate your successes along the way - make any necessary course corrections.

Related posts on Goal Setting:

• How to Write Powerful Goals, Part 1
• How to Write Powerful Goals, Part 2
• 5 Principles of Success
• Download Keys-to-an-Achievable-Outcome.pdf  (Goals Template)

Remembering 9-11-2001 and September National Day of Service

As I watch the Today Show's re-broadcast of the 9-11 events as they unfolded, I am reliving that surreal and shocking moment in my life in 2001.  I was on vacation with my family in Florida.  We were getting ready to go play a round of golf and we saw the Today Show's live reporting of one of the World Trade Center towers on fire, smoke billowing out from the side and top.  As Katie Couric and Matt Lauer interviewed eye-witnesses and attempted to sort out the details, we watched on live TV as the second commercial jet flew into the second tower.  In the hours,days and months that followed, I believe we (as a country and global community) all collectively went through the chaos and a range of emotions as the country reacted, mourned, got angry, and most powerfully - came together in service and support.

My sisters and I recently visited New York.  My youngest sister, Marian is a Henderson police officer and had one request for the visit - she wanted to go to the ground zero site.  We weren't able to see too much at the site as the September 11th Memorial & Museum is currently under construction and the site is covered with banners over the fencing.  I was moved by the memorial inside of the chapel.  I really got the feeling of how that sacred space directly across the street from the horrific reality and tragedy was a beacon of hope and solace.

Here is a movie of photos and videos we shot at ground zero and St Paul's Chapel:

Music track  - Our Voices Shall Be Heard (ft. Christopher Currell and Beth Quist)

I believe I am a service-oriented person. I can do more.  We all can.  It can be random and simple. Today, I re-commit myself to being of service...to myself...to others.  To being compassionate, practicing non-judgment and gratitude.

Official proclamation from President Obama (9-11-09):

"I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim September 11, 2009, as Patriot Day and National Day of Service and Remembrance..... I call upon the people of the United States to participate in community service in honor of those our Nation lost, to observe this day with other ceremonies and activities, including remembrance services, and to observe a moment of silence beginning at 8:46 a.m. eastern daylight time to honor the innocent victims who perished as a result of the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001. 

From the 911 Days of Service website

"Please take a moment now to post your personal plan to perform a good deed, volunteer or engage in another charitable activity in observance of the newly established September 11 National Day of Service and Remembrance. Help create a wonderful legacy that honors the victims and those who rose to service in response to the attacks on America."

Pink Dragon Ladies Book - An Inspiring Chronicle of Life, Teamwork, Courage and Perseverance

I remember my sister, Loreen, sharing an amazing story of courage, teamwork and perseverance last year.  Loreen is a breast cancer survivor who  just got her 5 year checkup and is cancer-free!  In fact, my two other sisters and I just returned from a trip to NYC as she went through two grueling days of tests, scans, and more tests at the amazing Memorial Sloan-Kettering complex of facilities.  Loreen is a graduate of the General Seminary of the Episcopal Church and is now living in Tampa, FL about to work as a Chaplain at the Tampa VA hospital.  Check out her website and blog at www.FromPaintoPeace.com.

Loreen is a true inspiration and has a powerful transformational story to share herself.  She is focused on living in the moment, doing what she is passionate about and, as her doctor recently said, "Just live your life."    She is my hero.

When she moved to Tampa, Loreen got involved with the Pink Dragon Ladies  - a dragon boat paddling team consisting of breast cancer survivors, some of them still in active treatment .  The team competes in dragon boat races all over the country and last year, Canada.  In fact, the Windsor, Ontario competition and the amazing story behind it was the inspiration for the book "Paddling Against the Current: Chronicles of Cancer and Courage."  The book chronicles the team's victory race in Windsor through individual stories by the team members and is "dedicated to Carol Lee Banks (1952-2008) - passionate paddler, fearless leader, dedicated friend."

From the epilogue:

"As their beloved Carol Lee left the race venue that fateful Saturday afternoon in Windsor, Ontario, too tired to stay and watch the last race, each Pink Dragon Lady made a commitment to win that race as a gift to her.  What none of them realized, was that she was giving a gift to them.  Carol Lee, and their love for her, gave each Pink Dragon Lady a reason to dig deep, find that fire that burned in her belly, harness its power, and win against all odds.  It's a truth of dragon boating; it's a truth of cancer survivorship; it's a truth of life."

Visit the Pink Dragon Ladies blog to order this inspirational book.

Order online by making a $20 donation (free shipping and handling) per book. List "Book" under Donation Designation. (You can uncheck the box to make an additional donation to JustGive.org) Name, address, and email is required for order fulfillment.

Here is an excerpt from the book...Loreen's contribution:

"As the team stood in line to board our boat for the final race in Windsor Canada, several ladies looked at me and said, “Can you say a prayer for all of us?” They knew I had recently graduated from seminary.  I told them I was hesitant to pray with the whole team for I was not sure how that would be received, unsure of how people felt individually about prayer.  However, I told these ladies that I had just prayed silently for all of us as we lined up.  They were elated and a few of them with widened eyes and smiles on their faces said, “Me too.  I just prayed.”

I shared with them the prayer that I had just prayed: “God, I ask you to be with all of us now.  Please give us the strength, focus, and courage to give our all in this race. May we go beyond ourselves and our own limitations with your help.   Amen.”

We looked at each other with contentment and a sense of focus. We won that race and our division final in record time!  We went beyond what we thought we could do.  We did it together.  A flood of emotion and elation filled that boat as we crossed the finish line.  We had certainly not been alone during that race. We did it with God’s help and in the spirit of those team members who were too sick to be there with us.  As we got out of the boat, those same few ladies looked at me and said….”We did it.  Oh, the power of prayer, right!?”  Right.  What a blessing to be with this team who has such a strength of heart."

          

Pink Dragon Ladies Trailer from Amber Barrera on Vimeo.

La Vita Italiana!... Enjoying the Italian Life for 10 Wonderful Days

Just returned from a relaxing and rejuvenating vacation visiting Verna, Florence and Venice Italy.  Below are some videos my sister, Loreen (visit her website www.frompaintopeace.com) and I put together from the over 500 photos we took.

If you are interested - you can view our Italy pics at Flickr

Observations on the life Italian... well-dressed, you can spot the tourists (mainly Americans) by the jeans (also the younger Italian generation); walking, bicycles, mopeds, smaller "Smart" cars; more smokers; don't see many overweight Italians!; really know how to enjoy a meal; things close down between 12:30 and 3:30 in most towns so people can enjoy their lunch, be with family if they so choose; slower pace; in the moment; not a fast-food nation; meals prepared with fresh foods picked up from the shops or "supermercato' that day; cafes ("bars") and gelato (ice cream) shops on every corner; great coffee, espresso, wine and gelato!

This Video "La Vita Italiana" is a montage of our observations on the Italian Life...

Beautiful Verona - my favorite city on the trip...You will see the Verona Arena, built by the Romans around 30 AD (1st century). It was used for jousting tournaments, gladiator fights, and saints were even martyred here.  L'Arena is now used for the popular Opera season. It stands in the center of the town in Piazza Bra where you can sit and have coffee at the numerous cafes (or "bars" as they call them).  We visited another 1st century structure, a Roman Amphitheater , where plays were performed. Above the amphitheater is the church that held the very first Mass in Verona. Outside in the courtyard is a cemetery with places to sit and meditate on the awesome views overlooking Verona.  Other photos include Cathedral San Zeno, Castelvecchio, Juliette's Tomb and the famous balcony of Romeo & Juliette fame, bridges and the river Adige...tranquility, serenity, history, picturesque

The uniqueness of Venice....gondoliers, shops, murano glass, water, cobblestone streets, narrow alleyways...

Live Everything - Every Moment - Be Present

 

  Lawrence “Sam” Wilson III

                1972-2008

At Prudential Americana Group Realtors, we recently lost a friend and co-worker.  Sam Wilson was a bright, shining light who touched everyone in such a positive way.  He was the embodiment of dedication, hard-work, determination and devotion.  Sam's sudden and unexpected passing leaves us all to reflect on what is really important in our individual lives. For he truly lived his life with passion, enjoying the moment and letting those around him know (especially his beloved family) how important and special they really are.  Sam will be truly missed. 

Sam's example reminds us to ....  Live every moment; celebrate life and love in all things.

"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will find them gradually, without noticing it, and live along some distant day into the answer."

 - Rainer Maria Rilke, "Letters to a Young Poet"

Five Agreement that Can Change Your Life

Here are 5 Agreements that if you truly comprehend, accept and live by can dramatically change your life!  The agreements are taken form 2 outstanding and highly recommended books:

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz 

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

1.    BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD. Speak with integrity.  Say only what you mean.  Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.  Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2.    DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY.  Nothing others do is because of you.  What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.  When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3.    DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS.  Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want.  Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama.  With just this one agreement you can completely change your life.

4.    ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST.  Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick.  Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

5.    LIVE IN THE NOW.  You have ONE moment, this moment. The past is behind you, the future has not yet arrived. Presence is power. Be here. Still. The next moment is already on its way. The past doesn’t change. Put your attention on today, free yourself.

Celebrate Your Successes - Then Set Goals not Resolutions

As the year comes to a close, I want to pass on one of the most impactful exercises my former business coach had me do several years ago.  The purpose of the exercise was to conduct a review of the previous year by writing down every success, win, and positive thing that I experienced - both big and small.  So, I challenge all readers to Celebrate Your Successes! 

In my experience as a coach and manager, I have observed that most driven and success-minded individuals have a tendency to focus on what they haven't achieved yet.  They are always moving on to the next goal or challenge without stopping, however briefly, to acknowledge the victory or success of the moment. 

So, as you fine tune your goals and business plan for a successful next year, take some time to look back on the current/previous year with a focus on the positives.  Grab your journal or some paper or...

Use this Celebrate Your Successes PDF: Download CelebrateYourSuccesses

Just write it all down - stream of consciousness - no matter how seemingly insignificant.  Just write it down.  Once you start writing, you'll be surprised at how much you really have to celebrate!

• List all your accomplishments, wins, victories, successes in the past year.
• List all moment of joy and gratitude.
• What did you do last year that you were really proud of?
• What do other people in your life have to say about what you did, accomplished, contributed?
• What did you do last year that moved you toward your goals?
• What lessons did you gain from any setbacks, challenges or obstacles?
• How are your going to integrate any learnings in to your future goals and the coming year?

Now Set GOALS not Resolutions!

I am not a fan of New Year's Resolutions.  Statistics show that most people never keep the resolutions they set for the new year.  The main reasons why they fail?  Lack of Commitment and Clarity.

For some thoughts on Clarity see this post:  Clarity of Purpose - Do You Have It?

Numerous surveys and research show the following as the Top 10 New Year's Resolutions:

1. Lose weight/Get in shape
2. Stick to a budget
3. Reduce Debt/Get out of debt
4. Enjoy more quality time with friends and family
5. Find my soul mate
6. Quit smoking
7. Find a better job/Make more money
8. Learn something new
9. Volunteer & help others
10. Get organized

You may, like me, look at this list and think "I want to accomplish several of these things this year!"  So instead of saying My New Year's Resolution is "x" - back it up with total commitment and clarity to ensure success this year. 

The critical steps to achieving your goals:

1. Identify clear, concise, SMART goals and know your WHY for each of them.
2. Write them down for all areas of your life (Personal, Financial, Business/Career, Relationships/Family, Spiritual)
3. Create Action Plans - break the goal down into steps and next actions.  Take action every day!
4. Measure and track your progress - you can't improve what you don't measure.
5. Celebrate your successes along the way - make any necessary course corrections.

Related posts on Goal Setting:

• How to Write Powerful Goals, Part 1
• How to Write Powerful Goals, Part 2
• 5 Principles of Success
• Download Keys-to-an-Achievable-Outcome.pdf  (Goals Template)

4 Questions for Maximum Productivity - Focus on Results

Are you focusing on what you want or do you find yourself stuck in the negative trap and putting energy on what you don't have?  The following information is adapted from Brian Tracy's abundant material on the subject of productivity and performance.  I recently revisited and read these Brian Tracy Books:

• Eat That Frog - 21 Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done in Less Time
  
• Focal Point - A Proven System to Simply Your Life, Double Your Productivity, and Achieve all your Goals
  
• Maximum Achievement - Strategies and Skills that will Unlock Your Hidden Powers to Succeed
  

Tracy states in Eat That Frog:
"You can get control of your time and your life only by changing the way you think, work and deal with the never-ending river of responsibilities that flow over your each day." 

Your "frog" is your biggest, most important task, the one you are most likely to procrastinate on.  It is also the one task that will give your the greatest positive impact on your life, business and results at the moment.  The key to achieving high levels of performance productivity is to develop the lifelong habit of tackling your major task first thing each morning.

4 Questions for Maximum Productivity - Remember to focus on results and what you want as you answer these questions for your business and life:

1. What are my highest value activities?
2. What are my key results areas?
3. What can I only do that if done well will make a real difference (in my life and business)?
4. What is the most valuable use of my time right now?

Here are some best practices and action steps to implement in your daily plan now:

• Do the Worst First
• Resist the temptation to clear up small things first
• Identify your high value tasks and do them first
• Examine each of your personal and work activities and evaluate it based on current situation
• Select at least one activity to abandon immediately or at least put off until more important goals are achieved
• The key to success is ACTION
• 80/20 Rule Applies to Everything!
  • 80% of salespeople spend 80% of their time on people who are not going to buy or sell
  • m20% of activities will account for 80% of your results

Identify Your Key Business/Sales Results Areas and the targeted activities for each area:

1. Prospecting
2. Trust & Rapport Building
3. Identifying Needs
4. Presenting Persuasively
5. Answering Objections
6. Closing the Sale
7. Building Referrals

• Grade Yourself in each area
• What one skill, if I developed and did it in an excellent fashion, would have the greatest positive impact on my career?
• What am I really good at?
• What do I enjoy most about my work?
• What has been most responsible for my success in the past?

Continuous learning is the minimum requirement in any field:

1. Read in your field minimum of 1 hour/day
2. Take every available course and seminar, workshop 
3. Listen to audio programs in your car (average car owner spends 500 to 1,000 hours/yr in their car
4. Practice, practice, practice
5. Hire a coach or mentor!

Practicing and Cultivating Gratitude in Your Life

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow."    -Melody Beattie

In her best selling book "Simple Abundance - A Day Book of Comfort and Joy ",  Sarah Ban Breathnach  takes the reader on a daily inspirational and transformational  journey toward self-discovery and awareness weaving these 6 major themes of gratitude, simplicity, order, harmony, beauty and joy.

The Gratitude Journal is an excellent and easy way to practice daily journaling.  Just follow these simple steps to cultivating more gratitude and happiness in your life:

• Select a journal or notebook that interests or inspires you.  Visit a book store and see what jumps out for you - discover if you prefer ruled or un-ruled, blank pages.  My personal preference is the Moleskin notebooks - the blank, unlined versions.
• Get a favorite pen or writing instrument.  Don't underestimate the value of a great pen!
• At the end of the day simply answer this question in your gratitude journal -

• Today I am grateful for.... 

The Everyday Mystic posted this excellent article on Practicing Gratitude.  In addition to keeping a gratitude journal, blogger Kristin Robertson suggests these additional ways to practice gratitude and appreciation:

• Give thanks in prayer or meditation
• Notice and remember "Kodak" moments
• Notice and remember synchronicities
• Appreciate others - actively let others know they are appreciated

And yet another cool tool to consider and use....The Gratitude Experiment - Watch this Video from GoGratitude.com and take the 42-day gratitude challenge to learn the simple, yet powerful, science and art of using the Master Key of Gratitude.