31 posts categorized "Affirmations, Mindset, Life Coach" Feed

Stress Triggers and Tips to Reduce Stress During the Holidays

Our guest this week for the WBNL Coach Show on Blab was my sister Loreen who is a mental health counselor in Tampa, FL.  Loreen specializes in trauma, anxiety, and adjustment to illness.  She is a Certified Master Practitioner of Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) which is a trauma focused intervention.  Loreen also uses a Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) approach in her practice.

Visit her website to find out more: Wesley Chapel Counseling 

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5 Ways We Get Overwhelmed During the Holidays and What To Do About It

Holidays of course can be joyful and a lot of fun but sometimes they also can bring up feelings of stress and being overwhelmed. Here are 5 common sources of stress and reasons for feeling overwhelmed during the holidays and suggestions about what to do about it.

Grief – Most of us have lost a family member or friend who we are going to miss at holiday gatherings. It’s natural to feel sad about no longer having this loved one with us to share in the festivities. So, of course, let yourself miss them – you love them, but also choose to celebrate them during this time. Maybe start a new tradition like always including their favorite side dish as part of the holiday meal; see if someone can make that “famous potato salad” mom always made – it’s a way of honoring that loved one and keeping them a part of the holidays. Also, share funny stories and great memories of the loved one; don’t be afraid that it will create sadness, it usually lifts everyone’s spirit instead.

Loneliness – Some people cannot be with family and friends at the holidays either because they live a great distance away, they may be in the military, or they may have no family members left. The key to not drowning in loneliness is to make an effort to connect with other people in some way. And it can be simple – go check on a neighbor who may also be lonely, bring them a pie! Or go help with the holiday activities at a local nursing home; believe me, there are lots of lonely people there that could use the company. You’ll feel better and so will they.

Family Dynamics – A lot of us have strained relationships within the family, let’s face it, some are down right dysfunctional. But the holiday is no time to try to hash out these problems and potentially end up with a crisis. Instead, go to your family gathering with a mindset of “shelving differences and issues” for the time being. Practice acceptance for where each of us may be on our journey.  You can probably do that for the few days you will all be together. Use this opportunity to create good memories of family time together.

Expecting Perfection – Adopt the mantra “Good enough is good enough” and enjoy your holiday. Many of us put a great deal of pressure on ourselves that “everything must be perfect” – the immaculate house, all dinner preparations done to perfection! It’s really okay if something gets a bit overcooked or you remember the cranberry sauce is still in the fridge when everyone is almost done eating. Everyone else is probably not expecting everything to be perfect and wouldn’t think it’s a big deal. Also, ask for help if you are the one handling most of the holiday event responsibilities. And don’t forget that it’s really okay if you cook a turkey but decide just to purchase a precooked ham instead of preparing that too. “Good enough is good enough.”

Ditching your Healthy Habits – (hopefully you have some), If you usually meditate, take walks, eat normal portions of food, and only drink in moderate amounts … don’t abandon these wellness habits during the holidays. These ways of being probably help keep you stay centered and better able to handle stress. If you are gathering with family for a few days, find time to go take a 15 minute walk and maybe take someone with you to chat with. Find a quiet, comfy corner somewhere in the house and steal away 10 minutes to yourself to do that meditation. You’ll see that keeping as close as possible to your healthy ways makes a positive impact on coping with holiday stress.

Holidays are great opportunities to spend quality time with family and friends and form lasting positive memories. And although holiday seasons can also create some stress and the potential to feel overwhelmed, you can also limit this by the choosing some of these wellness strategies.

Happy Holidays!

Loreen O'Brien

Therapist | PTSD & Anxiety Specialist

Wesley Chapel Counseling
Tampa, Florida

 

 


The Magic of Being Connected & Aligned

An amazing thing happened to us over the past few weeks.

My dear friend, collaborator and now business partner, Matt Emerson and I have been supporting each other as we pursue our passions and purpose.  We were contemplating how to align and connect our business ideas and separate entities to better serve our clients and customers.  The answer was simple and right there in front of us all along - as is the case so often in life.

MattEmerson_WBNLCoaching

We had an epiphany!

It occurred as we were following our own coaching advice ... to Get Up and Get Out and find the connection and alignment of your "why" and your chosen career.  

So, we went on a hike and conducted a few "walking meetings" over the course of a couple of days. We got out of our own way and opened up to the possibilities.

In order to better align with the needs of our clients, we decided to shift our focus slightly.  We are proud to announce that HMB (Heart|Mind|Business) Coaching is now WBNL (Wandering But Not Lost) Coaching.  Our goal is to insure that you are in alignment and help you connect so that you can prosper.  We are living proof that sometimes you need to shift gears a bit in order to become more powerful.  We’ll help you with that too!

Our philosophy remains the same - at WBNL Coaching we empower, listen, and coach you from an alignment of your heart and mind with your chosen field.  For us, listening is paramount.  We aren’t here to tell you what to do next, we are here to understand where you are in your business and what the best next step may be.  You’ll be heard with us – we listen.

We continue to experience the astonishing power of being connected and aligned with our purpose (our WHY) and the desire to provide valuable services and products that support our clients and customers.  We are excited to share that experience and guide those of you who are ready to discover your true path and to live your life on purpose.

 

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Start - Stop - Continue: A Simple Action Plan for the New Year

 In previous posts, I discussed Why Resolutions Don't Work and Model that Does and How to Celebrate Your Successes. 

In this post, I want to introduce a simple and effective model to take action TOWARD what you want to accomplish this year while also letting go of anything that no longer serves you. It's called START-STOP-CONTINUE.

Ask yourself and then write down the answers to these 3 questions:

  1. What would you like to START doing the year?
  2. What do you want to STOP doing?
  3. What are you going to CONTINUE doing?

Create a Start-Stop-Continue for your business and personal life.

Download Start Stop Continue worksheet

StartStopContinue

 

 

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How to Stop and Celebrate Your Successes!

CelebrateSuccessIn my experience as a coach and real estate broker, I have observed that most driven and success-minded individuals have a tendency to focus on what they haven't achieved yet.  They are always moving on to the next goal or challenge without stopping, however briefly, to acknowledge the victory or success of the present moment. 

So, as you fine-tune your goals and your business plan for a successful new year, take some time to look back on the previous year with a focus on the positives.  Conduct a review of the previous year by writing down every success, win, and positive thing that you experienced - both big and small. 

Review your calendar for highlights. Go to your Facebook, Instagram or Twitter timelines to jog your memory as we tend to post positive events and milestones on social media.

Use the questions listed below as a guide to help you get started. Just write it all down - stream of consciousness - no matter how seemingly insignificant.  Just write it down.  Once you start writing, you'll be surprised at how much you really have to celebrate! 

  • List all your accomplishments, wins, victories, successes in the past year.
  • List all moment of joy and gratitude.
  • What did you do last year that you were really proud of?
  • What do other people in your life have to say about what you did, accomplished, and contributed?
  • What did you do last year that moved you toward your goals?
  • What lessons did you gain from any setbacks, challenges or obstacles?
  • How are you going to integrate any learnings in to your future goals and the coming year?

Download and use this Celebrate Your Successes form: 
Download CelebrateYourSuccesses

 

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Meditation and Mindfulness for Busy People

MediationisfocusingonyourbreathMy goal with this post is to share a few easy meditation and mindfulness techniques to incorporate into your daily routine.  Simple methods to relax the body, quiet your thoughts and emotions and refresh your energy.

One basic definition of meditation or mindfulness meditation is focusing on doing to one thing at a time -  which brings us to the present moment. Distraction has become our new reality in a world where we are constantly checking and sending email, texts, and our social media updates.

Learning to quiet the mind has undeniable benefits at a time when are attention is on overload and overwhelm from multiple sources all day, every day.

Many CEO’s and Entrepreneurs have reported that a meditation practice is one of their keys to success.  Read more about this in the resource links at the end of this post.

Perception is reality.  How many people conjure up an image of a guru in a sitting lotus position chanting OM for hours when you hear meditation?  

Reality Check...Meditation can be as easy as focusing on your breath!

Practice this simple breathing meditation:

  • Set a 10 minute (or longer) timer.  Download the the Meditation Timer free app or just use the timer on your phone clock.
  • Sit comfortable in a chair or on a pillow on the floor
  • Sit up straight and tall – visualize a white light or cord aligning your spine from the top of your head through your spine and grounding you into the earth
  • Place your hands in your lap or on your thighs
  • Simply place your attention on your breath as you breath in and out normally

Inhale... visualize a beautiful white light flowing through you - cleansing your body and cells
Exhale...  stagnant energy and breath – release it

  • If you find your mind wandering to random thoughts and/or what you have to do today, just release those thoughts and bring your focus back to your breath

 

Benefits of Meditation Benefitsofmeditation

There is no denying it... meditation enhances your overall well-being – your mental and physical health.  

Meditation – and mindfulness meditation, in particular –will reduce your cortisol level, blood pressure, social anxiety and depression. It will increase your immune response, resilience and focus and improve your relationships — including the one with yourself.

It will also bolster your performance at work, fosters compassion and empathy and provides inner peace and balance.

Here's another super-easy meditation that focuses on your breathing from Dr. Andrew Weil:

Dr. Weil 4-7-8 Breath

The 4-7-8 Breath (also known as the Relaxing Breath) is the perfect, portable stress antidote, as it puts you in a relaxed state almost immediately. It takes almost no time, requires no equipment and can be done anywhere.

Although you can do the exercise in any position, sit with your back straight while learning the exercise. Place the tip of your tongue against the ridge of tissue just behind your upper front teeth, and keep it there through the entire exercise. You will be exhaling through your mouth around your tongue; try pursing your lips slightly if this seems awkward.

  • Exhale completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound.
  • Close your mouth and inhale quietly through your nose to a mental count of four.
  • Hold your breath for a count of seven.
  • Exhale completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound to a count of eight.
  • This is one breath. Now inhale again and repeat the cycle three more times for a total of four breaths.

This exercise is a natural tranquilizer for the nervous system. Unlike tranquilizing drugs, which are often effective when you first take them but then lose their power over time, this exercise is subtle when you first try it but gains in power with repetition and practice. Do it at least twice a day. You cannot do it too frequently. Do not do more than four breaths at one time for the first month of practice. Later, if you wish, you can extend it to eight breaths. If you feel a little lightheaded when you first breathe this way, do not be concerned; it will pass.

Resources

CEO.com:  More Mindfulness, Less Meditation

Huffington Post: The Daily Habit of these Outrageously Successful People

Business Insider: 14 Executives Who Swear By Meditation

Psychology Today : 6 Mindfulness Exercises That Each Take Lass Than 1 Minute

Pocket Mindfulness: 6 Mindfulness Exercises You Can Try Today

I find it easier sometimes to practice with a guided meditation.  Susan Piver's Open Heart Project is a great source of weekly 10-minute guided video meditations. Sign up for the free Open Heart Project via email. Visit Susan's Blog for an archive a past video meditations.

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Recommended Books

Spontaneous Happiness – Dr. Andrew Weil

The Book of Awakening : Having the Life Your Want by Being Present to the Life You Have- Mark Nepo


Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness in Everyday Life - Jon Kabat-Zinn

Mindfulness for Beginners - Jon Kabat- Zinn

 

iPhone Apps I use and recommend:

Meditation Timer free

Headspace free

Mindfulness App $1.99

Simply Being  Guided Meditation for Relaxation and Presence $1.99

Best Meditation Apps for iPhone & Android from Healthline.com (5/19/14)

 

So, no more excuses. Start today! Make it a part of your daily routine - begin with 10 minutes of focused breathing and see where it takes you.

 

Discover the power of business coaching – Book a Free 30-minute consultation with Jan


How to Practice Gratitude Daily

Gratitude

Today, I am grateful for.....

A powerful and simple daily practice to help us stay in the present moment, be mindful and happy is to ask and answer this question each day.  Practicing gratitude daily creates awareness and appreciation for what we do have.  It gives us perspective.

Taking it a step further... record it daily in a journal or your calendar. 

Keep a digital journal or diary...there are plenty of APPS for that!  Just search journal or diary in the APP store.  Here are two I recommend checking out:

Journal for Evernote

Day One

 

Gratitude Journal is an excellent and easy way to practice daily journaling.  Just follow these simple steps to cultivating more gratitude and happiness in your life:

  • Select a journal or notebook that interests or inspires you.  Visit a book store and see what jumps out for you - discover if you prefer ruled or un-ruled, blank pages.  My personal preference is the Moleskin notebooks - the blank, unlined versions. 
  • Get a favorite pen or writing instrument.  Don't underestimate the value of a great pen! 
  • At the end of the day simply answer this question in your gratitude journal - 
    Today I am grateful for.... 
    • What happened today that made you smile?
    • Who are you thankful for today?
    • Notice and record memorable moments 
    • Notice and write down synchronicities 
    • Celebrate the small things

In her best selling book "Simple Abundance - A Day Book of Comfort and Joy ",  Sarah Ban Breathnach  takes the reader on a daily inspirational and transformational  journey toward self-discovery and awareness weaving these 6 major themes of gratitude, simplicity, order, harmony, beauty and joy.

 

Check out these articles on Gratitude: 

Why Gratitude Makes Life Better and 40+ Ways to Get Started

How to Start a Gratitude Practice to Change Your Life

50 Ways to Show Gratitude for the People in Your Life

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow."    -Melody Beattie

  

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Happy New Year...Level Up in 2014!

As another year comes to a close and we take some time to reflect, refocus and retool for the new year... I encourage everyone to "Level Up" ... credit to Kuba for this turn of phrase:)

What follows is a potpourri of ideas, posts, exercises to assist you on your journey to Leveling Up in 2014!

 NewYearPossibilities


I saw this on the Holstee Manifesto blog and just loved the simplicity of it:

If you’d like to reflect on the year with us, here are some suggestions: writing a simple timeline from January to December to list major events month by month, looking through your calendars, notebooks, journals, and photos or even using your social media profiles to help bring memories back.

The Holstee team also shared this excellent exercise that I am definitely doing for 2014:

Ask yourself and answer these 3 questions:

  1. what you would like to start doing in 2014
  2. what you’d like to stop doing
  3. what you’d like to continue doing

Thanks to my sister Loreen O'Brien for creating this cool worksheet:
Download Start Stop Continue

Find Clarity and Set Powerful Outcomes... Not Resolutions!

"Clarity accounts for probably 80% of success and happiness. Lack of clarity is probably more responsible for frustration and underachievement than any other single factor.  Your success in life will be largely determined by how clear you are about what it is you really, really want."  - Brian Tracy

The main reason most resolutions don’t work is that they focus on only one area of your life - the DO level. Many of us are living life with the focus on DO-HAVE-BE.  “I will DO this thing.” (Lose weight) “So I can HAVE this other thing” (Self-Esteem) and I can BE this thing. (Confident.)

The average New Year’s Resolution doesn’t tackle the core of the issue – the “BE” level.

The best method for creating positive changes in your life is to understand and use the BE - DO - HAVE model.  When you begin changing on the BE level of your life, then the DO level and the HAVE level follow more easily.

Read the entire blog post here and take action:

Why Resolutions Don't Work-How to Celebrate Your Successess..Then Set Outcomes 

 

 

Create Your Real Estate Business Plan for 2014!

Are you ready, willing and  able to join the success group (the less  than 20%) who actually complete a written business plan?  Are you willing to  do the opposite of what the masses  usually do and achieve your desired  outcomes?  Start today by following these 3 Steps to  Business Planning and Take  Action!

The Real Estate Agent Business Plan – 3 Steps to Success 

Articles on Goal Setting, Productivity and Mindset:

 

 Happy New Year to All!  Best wishes for an amazing, abundant and healthy 2014!

 

Join the WBNL Coaching Wanderers Club - The online, virtual coaching and training platform for Real Estate and Business Professionals.

Your basic, FREE membership includes:

WBNL Coaching Real Estate Business Plan Online Course and Downloads


Cultivating and Practicing Gratitude

Today, I am grateful for.....

A powerful and simple daily practice to help us stay in the present moment, be mindful and happy is to ask and answer this question at the end of each day.  Practicing gratitude daily creates awareness and appreciation for what we do have.  It gives us perspective.

Taking it a step further... record it daily in a journal or your calendar. 

For you mobile device lovers...there are plenty of APPS for that!  Just search journal, diary in the APP store.  Here are two I recommend checking out:

Journal for Evernote

Day One

 

Here some other ideas and resources for practicing gratitude in your life.

Read this article Why Gratitude Makes Life Better and 40+ Ways to Get Started

In her best selling book "Simple Abundance - A Day Book of Comfort and Joy ",  Sarah Ban Breathnach  takes the reader on a daily inspirational and transformational  journey toward self-discovery and awareness weaving these 6 major themes of gratitude, simplicity, order, harmony, beauty and joy.

The Gratitude Journal is an excellent and easy way to practice daily journaling.  Just follow these simple steps to cultivating more gratitude and happiness in your life:

  • Select a journal or notebook that interests or inspires you.  Visit a book store and see what jumps out for you - discover if you prefer ruled or un-ruled, blank pages.  My personal preference is the Moleskin notebooks - the blank, unlined versions. 
  • Get a favorite pen or writing instrument.  Don't underestimate the value of a great pen! 
  • At the end of the day simply answer this question in your gratitude journal -
    Today I am grateful for.... 

What happened today that made you smile?

Who are you thankful for today?

Notice and record "Kodak" moments 

Notice and write down synchronicities 

Celebrate the small things

 

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow."    -Melody Beattie

 

Visit www.WBNLCoaching.com to learn more about our coaching program and online training membership options. Your FREE, basic membership includes a complete real estate business-planning course and downloads.


No Excuses Celebrates 9 Years as Mastermind Group

NoExcusesTripleGJoining or starting a Mastermind Group is a powerful, creative and supportive strategy to implement for your business and personal development.

One such group is a powerful Mastermind success story for five Las Vegas Realtors whose group "No Excuses" meets every Wednesday without fail.  No Excuses founders Mark Sivek and Linda Stegall started the group in 2004.  Three other Realty ONE Group real estate agents round out the group of five:  Joan Brooks, Lori Wayne and Susan Brock.   No Excuses' mission statement is local agents supporting local businesses and the Las Vegas economy.

The group meets every Wednesday to either preview their listings, tour real estate projects or developments, attend a real estate training course or event and support a local business (coffee shop, restaurant).  Each week one of the members takes the lead to plan and facilitate the tour and agenda.

No Excuses epitomizes the power of the Mastermind and the members reap the benefits including:

  • Mutual support of each other (emotionally, personally, and professionally)
  • Sharing of ideas, information and experiences
  • Continuous self-education
  • Discussion on meaningful topics and challenges
  • Accountability

How can you get started?  Contact any member of No Excuses for feedback (no, they are not considering additional members!).  Just click on the links above to their individual websites for contact info. 

Just Do It!  Find some like-minded, committed individuals and meet.  Take the initiative and personal responsibility and you will soon enjoy the rewards of the master mind.

Read my original blog posts from 2007  featuring No Excuses and MasterMind Groups:

Mastermind Groups Part 1: What and Why?

Mastermind Groups Part 2: Who and How?

 

Visit www.WBNLCoaching.com to learn more about our coaching program and online training membership options. Your FREE, basic membership includes a complete real estate business-planning course and downloads.

NoExcusesTrump
"No Excuses" at a recent panel discussion on High Rise hosted by WCR at Trump Tower.


3 Steps to a Great New Year - A Note from the Universe

I am huge fan of Mike Dooley's site www.TUT.com ( Totally Unique Thoughts) and the daily, inspirational "Note from the Universe".

Here's the note from 12/31/10 - just wanted to share it and recommend TUT.com as a great resource.

As the new year begins, now's a great time to:

1. Wipe the slate clean.
2. Focus upon what you really want.
3. Chart your course.

Right?

Well... only if you want to risk having to repeat these steps for the same wishes next year! Maybe this is splitting hairs, but here's an adventurous alternative:

1. Give thanks that life is... just as it is (and that it's been... just as it's been). Because of it, you're now "READY."

2. Define what you want in terms of the end result. Don't worry about the hows, or even the course. KNOW that what you want is ALREADY yours in spirit, by divine LAW, just focus on the certainty of this ownership, understand it, claim it, and "it will be on earth, as it is in heaven (spirit)."

3. LET THE UNIVERSE show you the way via your impulses and instincts that appear as you take inspired action. Don't worry that your first steps seem silly or futile. And if you don't know what to do, do anything! Go! Get busy! Do not insist on intermediary successes, only upon the end result.

2011 is going to be your year (it already is),

The Universe

Join the WBNL Coaching Wanderers Club - The online, virtual coaching and training platform for Real Estate and Business Professionals.

Your basic, FREE membership includes:

WBNL Coaching Real Estate Business Plan Online Course and Downloads

 

Snowing

    Snowing in Las Vegas - Monday, January 3rd!